These past few weeks have been super busy. Evil does not sleep but recently I've begun sleeping more and more. This has posed quite the problem. For how can I both fight the sleepless evil in our midst and remain rested enough to keep my wits about me? Already in my absence, Early Bird and the Angler have attempted to seed the 'Boro with their malice. Thus, I've started a new training regiment in hopes of strengthening my composting skills so much that the very thought of my retaliation will send these punks screaming.
My day begins at 5 a.m. with a quick breakfast. The good thing about getting up so early is the quiet. So after eating, I try to take advantage of this serene time of day by visualizing my opponents and plotting ways to foil them. If anyone saw me in the midst of this mediation they would assume I had gone back to sleep but really I am hyper-aware. Around 6:15 a.m., La Vaca rouses me from my meditative state and helps me don my uniform. Then she and I head to the dojo (which is disguised as a day care so as to thwart enemy infiltration) run by the indomitable Kyoshi (master) Patti. There I have two sensei--Susan and Mary. I spend most of the morning working with them on various skills sets--hand-eye coordination, bowel control and verbalization. I have mastered kiai jutsu (see here: http://fightingarts.com/reading/article.php?id=158) and the ancient but little known art of spit bubbles. Around 11 a.m. La Vaca and The Agriculturalist come check on my progress and provide much needed sustenance. After which, I reengerize by meditating in the dark. . . in my crib. . . for several hours. It takes a lot of concentration. Then at 2:30 p.m. La Vaca and The Agriculturalist come to take me back to the homestead where we prepare for our evening of hunting down and composting injustice on the streets of Attleboro.
In the morning, we begin again. . .
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