Zoe Catherine Reed

The Evolution of Worm

Readers,
It has started. My evolution into the world's deadliest defender of decency has begun. It is a transformation which has consumed me for much of these past few weeks. I've been growing and changing almost daily. La Vaca and The Agriculturalist seem amazed, even somewhat frightened, by my new powers. In fact my new powers are so great, I am kept up by the thought of my own deadliness. For as with any great change, comes great sleeplessness.

In order to strike fear in the hearts of my enemies, I have posted a video training log highlighting the power of my evolution.

Video #1: The Death Flop

Video #2: Advanced Composting

Video #3: Marsupial of Mayhem

Video#4: Kiai-jitsu

Video #5: The Alligator Death Roll

(Ignore La Vaca's concern. I don't get hurt. I give hurt. Remember it.)

Impressive, I know.

Truth, Justice, and the Wormy Way

Happy Halloween Readers,

Today is a big day for this worm. The Agriculturalist and La Vaca have presented me with a special gift. . . my very first superhero costume. Crafted by the skilled hands of The Seamstress (or Auntie Cath for those who do not run in superhero circles), it is a thing of beauty.

One of the things you learn early on as a superhero is that the best disguise is no disguise. By that I mean that if you dress up in spandex and fight crime, you stand out. If that is your goal then by all means go for it; I won't judge. But if you are into being a bit stealthier, if you like to watch and calculate your moves before you strike, then blending in is your best weapon. And yet, although I have been trained in the latter the former is way more fun. Today I get the best of both worlds. Today is the one day of the year that you can dress up in your crime fighting outfit and blend in. Everyone is dressed up. They think you are part of the crowd. In fact they even come close up and tell me I am cute. They bend towards me and make googly eyes and cooing noises. "That's it", I think. "Just a little bit closer". "Just one more inch", and then WHAMMO! The worm gets you. Composted!

Here is the epic looking image that should grace most everyone's desktop and should haunt the minds of those who do evil.

Here is one that shows off my flying ability (you didn't know I could fly, I know).

P.S. For those of you who think I look less like a worm and more like a flying turd...well I am going to get you.

Worm: Jumping for Justice

Readers,

I've been recently noticing a trend in the blogosphere called the Jock Update, a public display of one's athletic prowess. As many of your know, I too am an athlete of sorts. Superheros are to athletes what a Ducati is to a Moped. We are the dream, the reason to awake at 4 a.m., and pound the pavement in sub-zero temperatures while the rest of the world lies peacefully nestled beneath their covers. Inside of every athlete there lies the potential for greatness. Sometimes all it takes to overcome your limitations is a little motivation.

Motivation can come in many forms. Most athletes train to better themselves, to push their own personal limits, to prove themselves worthy. Yet, I train because the world depends on it. If I fail, evil wins.

And so while most of these Jock Updates are focused on more traditional forms of exercise like running (I'm looking at you Mr. I-Ran-8 miles-in 1:08:57), I've decided to give the world a glimpse at what it takes to keep a superhero fit. Prepare to stand in awe. . .

Oh crap.

I never cease to amaze

I never cease to amaze myself. I discovered the other day yet another superpower. I thought that the ability to compost was a gift enough. The other day I was sitting around in my office just doing some work. Flipping things around, pushing buttons, learning what the cat says etc. I believe that "the apple is red". It was a day in the office like any other day when I decided to poop myself. No big deal, happens all the time. This time it was different. Something was new.

It stunk.

I have the ability to expel noxious gas from my butt. Who new? I am not sure how best to use this power but I am sure that I can ask my dad to explain it. He has a similar power, I must have inherited this one from him.

I look forward to learning about my new powers and how to utilize them to fight evil.

Until the next time.

Theme Song

So this is a short post. I just wanted to share with everyone that one of the Agriculturalist's former students sent him a link to my theme song. My favorite line is "They call me Dr. Worm/I'm interested in things/I'm not a real doctor/But I am a real worm.

They Might Be Giant's is my favorite band and I recommend them to everyone. A real superhero needs a theme song and now I have one!